Adultery Definition - The Full Biblical Meaning (Accurate)

What is the definition of adultery?

In Scripture, adultery is the breaking of the marriage covenant through sexual unfaithfulness in action or intent, committed against one’s spouse and ultimately against God.

In its physical sense, adultery is sexual relations between a married person and someone who is not their spouse (Exodus 20:14; Leviticus 20:10). Marriage is a sacred covenant witnessed by God, making adultery a serious covenant violation according to Malachi 2:14.

Adultery is not always physical

The Lord Jesus deepens this definition by addressing the inner life of the heart. He teaches that adultery begins internally, stating:

“Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28, KJV).

Adultery of the heart as illustrated by The Lord Jesus Himself includes deliberate lust, fantasy, and the willful nurturing of sexual desire toward someone other than one’s spouse—even if no physical act occurs. Scripture consistently affirms that God judges not only outward behavior but inward intention (1 Samuel 16:7; Proverbs 4:23).

The Bible also applies adultery metaphorically to spiritual unfaithfulness, describing devotion given to idols or rival loves as adultery against God (Jeremiah 3:8–9; James 4:4). This underscores that adultery, at its core, is betrayed covenant loyalty.

Thus, biblically, adultery includes:

Physical sexual unfaithfulness
Lustful intent and imagination of the heart
Emotional and spiritual covenant betrayal

Adultery is a heart issue before it is an action, which is why it requires repentance, renewal, and restored faithfulness before God.

Why do so many people fall into the sin of adultery?

Many people fall into the sin of adultery because it sits at the intersection of desire, vulnerability, and self-deception. Scripture teaches that adultery rarely begins with a physical act; it begins in the heart and mind (Matthew 5:28). When emotional needs go unmet—such as affirmation, intimacy, or respect—individuals may seek fulfillment outside God’s design, believing the lie that secrecy removes accountability.

Another major factor is the gradual erosion of boundaries. Small compromises—private conversations, emotional attachment, unchecked fantasy—soften the conscience over time. Scripture in Proverbs 4:23 warns, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

When the heart is not guarded, temptation feels less like danger and more like opportunity.

Modern culture also normalizes sexual unfaithfulness, portraying it as harmless or inevitable. This dulls the fear of God and weakens moral resolve. Yet Scripture is clear: adultery wounds the soul (Proverbs 6:32) and fractures covenant trust, often with long-lasting consequences. It is not a legal premise for divorce and remarriage however, contrary to popular belief- fornication is.

Ultimately, adultery flourishes where there is spiritual neglect—prayerlessness, distance from God’s Word, and isolation from godly community.

Victory over this sin requires more than willpower; it demands humility, repentance, renewed intimacy with God, and intentional safeguards that honor the sanctity of covenant love.

Psychological Cause of Adultery	Psychological Research & Key Findings	Bible Verse (KJV) & Biblical Diagnosis
Unmet Emotional Needs	Abraham Maslow (A Theory of Human Motivation, 1943) shows that unmet needs for belonging and esteem drive individuals to seek fulfillment outside covenant relationships when emotional nourishment is absent.	Proverbs 27:7 — Emotional emptiness dulls discernment; a hungry soul is easily enticed by forbidden satisfaction.
Attachment Insecurity	Cindy Hazan & Phillip Shaver (Attachment Theory, 1987) demonstrate that anxious or avoidant attachment styles correlate strongly with infidelity as a maladaptive bonding strategy.	Jeremiah 2:13 — Broken cisterns represent substitute attachments that cannot hold relational security or life.
Validation & Self-Esteem Deficits	Mark Leary (Sociometer Theory, 1999) explains that infidelity often functions as a self-esteem repair behavior when internal worth is unstable.	Galatians 1:10 — Approval-seeking replaces identity rooted in God, opening the door to relational compromise.
Impulsivity & Poor Self-Control	Roy Baumeister (Ego Depletion Theory, 1998) identifies reduced self-regulation as a major predictor of moral failure under temptation.	Proverbs 25:28 — A lack of self-rule leaves the inner life exposed and undefended.
Sexual Novelty Seeking	David Buss (Evolutionary Psychology of Mating, 1994) shows novelty-seeking behavior can override long-term commitment through dopamine-driven desire escalation.	Ecclesiastes 5:10 — Ungoverned desire multiplies dissatisfaction rather than fulfillment.
Moral Disengagement	Albert Bandura (Moral Disengagement Theory, 1999) explains how individuals cognitively justify adultery by minimizing harm or reframing wrongdoing.	Isaiah 5:20 — Moral inversion allows sin to be rationalized as acceptable or even good.
Marital Emotional Disconnection	John Gottman (Marital Stability Research, 1994) identifies emotional withdrawal and contempt as precursors to infidelity.	Song of Solomon 2:15 — Small unresolved breaches erode covenant intimacy if left unchecked.
Opportunity & Secrecy	Dan Ariely (The Honest Truth About Dishonesty, 2012) shows ethical failure increases when secrecy lowers perceived accountability.	Luke 8:17 — Hidden actions are temporary; exposure is inevitable.
Stress & Emotional Escape	Kelly McGonigal (Stress & Coping Research, 2015) demonstrates that stress weakens values alignment, increasing escapist behaviors.	1 Corinthians 10:13 — Temptation intensifies under pressure, but divine restraint remains available.
Pornography Conditioning	Dolf Zillmann (Excitation Transfer Theory, 1988) shows repeated sexual novelty reshapes arousal patterns, diminishing covenant satisfaction.	Matthew 5:28 — Adultery begins internally before manifesting outwardly.

Overcoming adultery after a fall—and helping a spouse heal after betrayal—requires repentance, truth, time, and transformation. Scripture is honest about failure, but it is also clear that restoration is possible through humility and obedience to God.

How to Overcome Adultery After You’ve Fallen

Begin with genuine repentance. Repentance is not regret over consequences but grief over sin against God and covenant (Psalm 51:3–4). Confess fully, without minimizing or blaming circumstances.
Cut off all access to temptation. Proverbs 5–7 shows that wisdom flees temptation rather than managing it. This may mean ending contact completely, changing routines, using accountability software, and inviting spiritual oversight.
Restore spiritual disciplines. Regular prayer, Scripture reading, fasting, and fellowship re-sensitize the conscience and rebuild fear of the Lord (Psalm 119:9).
Submit to accountability. Healing accelerates when sin is brought into the light (James 5:16). Trusted pastoral or mature Christian counsel is essential.
Renew the mind. Adultery often thrives on distorted thinking—entitlement, secrecy, fantasy. Romans 12:2 calls for deliberate thought-level renewal through truth.

How to Help Your Spouse Recover After Betrayal

Tell the full truth once, then remain transparent. Ongoing revelations re-traumatize. Openness rebuilds safety over time (Proverbs 28:13).
Accept their pain without defensiveness. Betrayal creates grief similar to trauma. Listen, validate, and resist the urge to rush forgiveness (Romans 12:15).
Demonstrate consistent change, not just words. Trust is rebuilt through sustained, observable faithfulness—months and years, not days.
Invite healing support. Biblical counseling, pastoral care, and prayer together can help restore emotional and spiritual intimacy.
Anchor the marriage in Christ, not emotions. Forgiveness can be a process or an event. God is the healer of broken covenants when both hearts remain yielded (Joel 2:25).

Restoration is slow, but God specializes in rebuilding what sin has damaged when repentance is real and love is patient.

Here's a table showing biblical solutions to overcoming adultery with psychological confirmation.

Root Issue Addressed	Psychological Research & Proven Solution	Bible Verse (KJV) & Biblical Remedy
Emotional Emptiness	Abraham Maslow and later Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan) show that relational security and meaning reduce external validation seeking. Emotional needs must be healthily met within committed bonds.	Psalm 107:9 — God fills the longing soul, restoring satisfaction without violation of covenant.
Attachment Insecurity	Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy) demonstrates that strengthening secure attachment bonds dramatically reduces infidelity risk.	Hosea 2:19–20 — God models covenantal re-attachment rooted in faithfulness and mercy.
Low Self-Worth	Carl Rogers (Person-Centered Therapy) shows unconditional positive regard stabilizes identity and reduces approval-seeking behaviors.	Ephesians 1:6 — Acceptance in Christ removes the need to seek worth through illicit relationships.
Impulsivity & Weak Self-Control	Walter Mischel (Delay of Gratification Research) shows self-regulation can be trained through intentional restraint practices.	Galatians 5:22–23 — Self-control is cultivated through the Spirit, not willpower alone.
Novelty Addiction	B.F. Skinner (Behavioral Conditioning) demonstrates that removing stimulus triggers and reinforcing covenant intimacy rewires desire.	Hebrews 13:4 — Honor of the marriage bed restores desire to its rightful place.
Moral Rationalization	Albert Bandura shows moral engagement is restored through accountability and truth-based self-evaluation.	Psalm 51:6 — Truth in the inward parts dismantles self-deception.
Marital Disconnection	John Gottman shows rebuilding friendship, admiration, and repair attempts restores relational fidelity.	Ecclesiastes 9:9 — Re-engaging joyfully with one’s spouse renews covenant delight.
Secrecy & Opportunity	James Pennebaker (Expressive Disclosure Research) shows confession and transparency reduce destructive behaviors.	1 John 1:7 — Walking in the light restores fellowship and cleansing.
Stress-Driven Escape	Kelly McGonigal shows reframing stress with purpose reduces escapist coping.	Matthew 11:28 — Christ offers rest that replaces destructive escape behaviors.
Pornography Conditioning	Neuroscience of Neuroplasticity (Doidge) shows that abstinence plus new relational cues can rewire arousal pathways.	Romans 12:2 — Renewal of the mind transforms desire patterns.

I've often said that marriage is for saved folk, and I truly believe it because the love that is required for marriage is agape not philia. Marriage requires sacrificial love to be whole and successful.